Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize