i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
