All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
