Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
