Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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