Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This girl is more easily done than said...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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