I'm really into asian looking animals
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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