I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
