It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
