A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize