Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
try to milk me bitch
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