oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
