no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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