his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
