my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
