When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
