i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize