When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize