She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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