Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
