He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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