Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
