I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
