she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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