some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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