I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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