I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
