You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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