Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
