i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
