I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
