I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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