I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize