Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
