I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
