is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She announced her abortion via fbk
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Randomize
