Your dad touched me again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
