PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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