yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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