There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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