NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
