"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
