The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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