Me too!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
