i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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