he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize