um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
only you would photoshop your dick
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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