can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
