Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
