Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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