I'm going to jail i love you
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
