Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
