The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
