I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
