im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
