her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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