Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
