The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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