im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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