Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Couch. On fire.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
