So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
