I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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