mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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